Finding the time to be alone
As a family caregiver, one of the hardest things is finding the time to be alone. From the time you wake up to the time you go to bed at night you are often in charge of not only seeing to your own needs, but also to the needs of others. You have two lives to oversee, your own, and your care recipient's.
I've spent a long time being a family caregiver now, and the best advice I have on how to find a little time to yourself is to wake up before the sun. My parents are late sleepers, which means they are also late to go to bed. By waking up early, 7 or 8 in the morning, I can get a little time for myself without any distractions in the early morning hours. This is when I do things that need to be done in solitude, such as clearing my mind of stress for the day ahead or working on my novels. (Yes, the neglected novels that I don't spend a lot of time working on any more).
During this early morning solitude I can gather my thoughts and think about what needs to be done during the remainder of the day. I can get a to-do list wrote up for that day and set what needs to be done the most. I don't always do that, and I don't always wake at 8 a.m., but I usually find the time in the morning to at least spend some time thinking without distractions and collecting my thoughts for the day ahead before my parents wake and I must begon jumping and running at random intervals.
Can't wake early? Maybe go to sleep a little later than everyone else if the rest of the house is on a set 'in bed by 10 p.m.' schedule or something. Make your bed time 11 p.m. instead and spend that extra hour catching up on stuff and getting ready for the next day's chaos.
Lately I have been finding a little more time by having my sister go with my mom when she takes dad for his monthly blood tests, which gives me a couple of hours alone at home to catch up on the housework that builds up during the month.
However you find the time, even if it is only enough time to sip a cup of coffee or tea in the early morning watching the sun rise, make sure that you find a few minutes of your own each day and a little more time each month. It may not seem like a lot, but it helps and will add up - just as the stress will add up if you can't find a little 'me' time in the day.
I've spent a long time being a family caregiver now, and the best advice I have on how to find a little time to yourself is to wake up before the sun. My parents are late sleepers, which means they are also late to go to bed. By waking up early, 7 or 8 in the morning, I can get a little time for myself without any distractions in the early morning hours. This is when I do things that need to be done in solitude, such as clearing my mind of stress for the day ahead or working on my novels. (Yes, the neglected novels that I don't spend a lot of time working on any more).
During this early morning solitude I can gather my thoughts and think about what needs to be done during the remainder of the day. I can get a to-do list wrote up for that day and set what needs to be done the most. I don't always do that, and I don't always wake at 8 a.m., but I usually find the time in the morning to at least spend some time thinking without distractions and collecting my thoughts for the day ahead before my parents wake and I must begon jumping and running at random intervals.
Can't wake early? Maybe go to sleep a little later than everyone else if the rest of the house is on a set 'in bed by 10 p.m.' schedule or something. Make your bed time 11 p.m. instead and spend that extra hour catching up on stuff and getting ready for the next day's chaos.
Lately I have been finding a little more time by having my sister go with my mom when she takes dad for his monthly blood tests, which gives me a couple of hours alone at home to catch up on the housework that builds up during the month.
However you find the time, even if it is only enough time to sip a cup of coffee or tea in the early morning watching the sun rise, make sure that you find a few minutes of your own each day and a little more time each month. It may not seem like a lot, but it helps and will add up - just as the stress will add up if you can't find a little 'me' time in the day.
posted by Sandra at 5:22 PM
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