Monday, May 12, 2008

It's nice they help, but they're making things worse

I'm sure that we are not the only ones that have helpful family members that are less than helpful. The members that will take on doing something such as taking the care recipient for a few hours, but are not exactly helpful in providing care while they have them.

My mom and I have a problem with even though my dad is only supposed to be smoking a set number of cigarettes in a day, whenever he goes out to spend time with one of my siblings and their family - he is let smoke as much as he desires. Today he came back after spending some time with them and had not only smoked all the cigarettes that we had sent with him, but had someone buy him a pack of cigarettes and smoked half of that pack as well.

Me and mom are afraid he is going to end up on oxygen, but can't figure out how to convince them not to let him chain smoke while he's out with them. It's about the only break we get, so we hate to just say "no more" to his going even though they are making things worse in the long run.

I'm just not sure what to do, but I figured I would put it out here so anyone else that has this kind of situation will know they are not alone in the catch 22 situation of needing the help, but frustrated by the lack of care given when the helpers are helping.

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